I always been scared to talk to guys maybe because am so self-conscious about my self, I've been rejected enough times that now i don't even want to try. Sometimes when people look at me it feels like they are judging me, what can i say am not the preppy girl who everyone loves, am not the goth girl who doesn't care what people think about her, am the girl who is nice to everyone or at least tries, am outgoing, loves to hang out with friends, go to concerts listen to a good hardcore/metal band, go to some fights just because i think is exiting to watch some guys fight and get all kinds of bloody, am just myself am into a lot of things that will not label me as a prep, goth, emo, or punk am just myself and that's how i like it. I know something that i know for sure that i am am the girl who wants to be a pin-up model, maybe a Suicide Girl who they are modern pin-up models that travel around the world showing themselves to people, so they will see that no matter if you are skinny, fat, tattooed, pierced, or totally just plain simple you are beautiful.
I picked this profession, not because i want the attention from people, but because i want to prove myself that i am beautiful and i can do whatever i set myself to do, i want to be someone that is actually good looking to someone, well i can not lie i do it for the attention who am i kidding, when you lack attention when your no one you tend to crave the attention, i don't care about being popular in school i could care less, all i want is to do something that i will enjoy doing, for a job am not going to sit on a desk all my life and let my life waist like that maybe other people will like that but not me am all about having fun during my life.
So you ask how am i going to do this if am still a fat girl who is way self-conscious, am shy, and i tend to freak out when i have to do something in front of a lot of people huh? Well ill tell you how; I started a new weight loss plan that will help me out with my weight, i go to the gym every day during the week to try to improve myself and my body, i want to get in better health because being a suicide girl is not just about looking good enough for you to be able to do things but being able to preform in front of a lot of people and there is not chance for a girl who doest feel comfortable in her own skin. I will get in shape and eat healthy, i got some dancing videos that has the hottest and sexiest dance moves around this time, and with that i can learn to dance while i work out, because dancing is a work out a fun work out actually that will not get boring after a while. So now you know how i simply plan to reach this goal, no matter what or who stands in my way i will get to my goal no matter what because that's one thing i will fight for.
This is a really good post! Sometimes you skip words, but I can really hear how you feel in your wording and that is awesome! Good word!!
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic. It is hard to not know where to stand in high school but proving to yourself you are beautiful is such a strong quality. I want you to strive for this also because what you are doing is an inspiration. I look up to you with respect and I'm sorry to here that there are inconsiderate people in this world who have hurt you. But keep your head held high sweetheart. You can do it. It is written very neatly also
ReplyDeleteSo I think this is a really good blog. It's pretty good. There are a few spelling issues but other than that it is very heartfelt and you have obviously put some thought into writing this blog. I just have to say that people like that are not the right people to be around and I'm sorry that you had to deal with all of that but I hope you complete your dream with all the aspects you want.
ReplyDeleteWow this is really good. :) Other than a few spelling issues i think its written very well. You go girl! Stomp the competition and prove yourself to everyone. If anyone can do it i know you can hun.
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! I was so excited to read your blog because everyone is to worried about their weight and not their grades or anything. They want to be preppy and get all the guys, but that's not what's important in life. What's important is how you feel about yourself. If you feel confident and pretty you'll do fine. I hope your dream comes true and I hope that you don't worry about what other people think about you. Just remember that everyone's beautiful, no one is ugly. Their personalities may be ugly but the people's looks aren't. I think your dream will go a long way and you will find a guy sooner or later. God has a soul mate for everyone. Good Luck!
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